To Slow Down the Time

I am laying on my yoga mat listening to my instructor lead us through savasana saying, “Let go of what you were doing before you came here and dismiss what you have to do next in a large exhale. Just be here, present on your mat.” 

In this state of meditation, I politely declined that offer. However, it led me to another idea; perhaps more intuitive than her leading thought. 

Now is the perfect marriage of the past and future. 

If now ignores the past and future, it is complacent and purposeless. 

Take senior year of high school as an example. Senior year is defined by reminiscing on the past 12 years of grade school while determining your next four years ahead all at the same time. This harmony leads to lots of intentional time spent with people. You realize how much you are going to miss this, so you try to soak it up as much as possible. 

Seniors are also dreaming about what lies ahead of them; making big decisions like where they will live and what they will study. They analyze their past likes and dislikes to take forward what serves them best in the future. Oftentimes, students claim this to be the best year of their lives. 

If seniors ignored their past 12 years, they wouldn’t see how they have grown up alongside each other. If seniors didn’t look to their future, they wouldn’t make the most of these last times together now. It would simply be another school year. 

While sayings like “Don’t dwell on the past,” “Don’t worry too much about the future,” and “Just be present” all have good intentions, I think they can sometimes harm the now. 

To be fully present, I think we should live in harmony with the past and future.

PAST

The past is inevitable. It is unavoidably messy, cringey, heartbreaking, and endearing all at the same time. There are parts that we crave so badly to have back and others that are so dark we shove away. No matter what – we cannot avoid the fact that it happened. 

“Don’t dwell on the past” discourages thinking about the past and constantly keeps you wrestling with something in the present.  It almost infers that if I don’t think about it, I will forget about it. However, that is never the case. 

Take a breakup for example. When you’re heartbroken, people always try to help by saying to “not think about the past.” Try as you might, you attempt to push away every memory with that person – good or bad. While this may put a bandaid on the healing process, it doesn’t stitch up the wound. 

Thinking about the past is crucial for moving forward. You see what aspects you loved about the person and other aspects you didn’t. You see what you did well and how you should've acted differently – all to make you a better partner to someone in the future. 

This applies to any part of your past you ignore, like family issues, trauma, embarrassment, different versions of yourself, etc. 

Looking into the past is the only time you can see your life from an all-knowing perspective. 

I am a firm believer that there is always good from every circumstance, even the ones that hurt the most. Every situation shapes you. It changes you for the better. Without every detail from your past, you would not be who you are today. 

So when you are told to “not dwell on the past” and you swallow your memories, perhaps try to digest them. Unpack what you can take and learn from them to better serve yourself now. 

“Not dwelling on the past” also has a positive connotation – one for those so stuck in the past that they are discouraged by the now. For those, I say the same. Take from your past what best served you and bring it to the present. 

If your past haunts you – address what scares you head on and it will lose some of its power. 

If you were better in the past – seek out what you like about that version of yourself. 

If you miss someone from your past – think about what you miss about them. Is it them? Or is it how they made you feel? Can someone else make you feel that way? Why are they in your past? 

If you think the world was better in the past – what parts of your life changed? Could you bring any old practices back? What parts of the present world are better? 

Your past made you who you are now, give it some credit. Spend some time with it. Take it with you to the future. 

FUTURE

The future has a grip on us. It makes us hopeful, scared, ambitious, and crazy all at the same time. There are parts that get us out of bed in the morning and others so daunting we would rather shove them away. No matter what – we cannot avoid the fact that it is happening. 

“Don’t worry too much about the future” alludes to the idea that if we don’t jump and grab the future, we can remain in the now until one day our optimal future will just come to us served on a silver platter. However, that is far from the truth. 

Now is an investment in your future. 

Think about who you want to be in the future. What would that person be doing today? 

Do you want to be a successful businessman(woman)? Start learning the skills of the field now. Find role models. Learn from them. 

Do you want to be fit? Learn how your body feels best doing certain exercises and how it reacts to different forms of nutrition. 

Do you want to be a good parent? Be around children. Talk to parents you admire. Take advice. 

Do you want to travel? Start now. It may not be Bali, but small trips prepare you for the big ones. 

Do you want to get married? Find how to be the best partner to someone. Again, take advice. 

Now, one may have no idea what they want for their future, much less how to get there. In which case, I say test out different options. 

Who you are today makes you a better person tomorrow. 

A theme I see in people “prepping for their future” is they feel like saying it is just enough. “When I grow up I am going to do _____” or, more short term, “Next year, I am going to ____” 

An interesting piece of psychology I learned is that if you say you are going to do something enough times out loud your brain releases dopamine each time, giving you the same rush as if you did it. Eventually, your brain gets used to this rush and it is no longer as exciting. You feel as though you already did the thing you said you were going to do because you already got the reaction from it. This feeling is satisfying enough that you don’t end up ever having to do the exact thing you spoke of. 

Quit saying you are going to do something and actually do it. 

Merely talking is just words. Take action today for the future. It will keep you excited in the present.

In the words of Tony Robbins, a world-famous motivational speaker, and coach had said that “Setting goals is the first step from turning the invisible to visible.”

Setting mini goals for yourself is the first step toward planning your future. Achieving goals each day allows us to see success in the present, making life feel more purposeful. 

If the future seems intimidating and you would rather ignore it coming, remember that you have total control over it and it starts now. 

PRESENCE 

Who you are today is good. Who you are tomorrow is great. I believe that is the best way to tackle presence. 

Because today, you are better than yesterday. That is something to celebrate. You are learning more today to be better tomorrow. Again, that is something to celebrate. 

With neither the past to look to nor the future to strive for, today is confusingly stagnant. Presence is unattainable when we don’t allow ourselves to take full grasp of time and all that it gives us. 

Presence is the only time our past and future live in harmony. Slow it down. Savor it.

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” - Mandy Hale