Small Rye, Big World: Let Me Change Your Life

Do you remember in high school when all the catholic school kids would get shipped off to this mysterious place called “retreat” where they would come back changed but not speak of what happened there?

All the outsiders were like “Wow, that’s great!” But internally like WTF happened to them there...

That is how I feel about studying abroad.

I feel like I got shipped off to this mysterious place and came back changed, but nobody speaks of what actually happened there to change them.

All the outsiders respond the same, “Wow, how cool!” But internally are like WTF happened over there...

It’s not that people who study abroad don’t talk about their experience as a whole. Every person who’s done it raves of it. They encourage it to everyone and say it changed their life.

I guess the question of how it changed their life was never fully answered.

Before coming here, I believe that is why I had no idea what to expect. I knew it would change my life in some way or form, I just had no idea how.

I inferred the obvious reasons, like becoming more culturally adaptable and crossing things off your bucket list, are what I assumed I would feel.

But, studying abroad changed my life in ways I would have never expected.

I guess for every person it is different and that is why the “how” is never addressed because there is no distinct answer. All I can speak for is myself and the way it changed my life, in hopes of giving the same “have to experience this” feel of catholic retreat, just without all the secrets.

1. Studying abroad changed my life in the way it proved what I am capable of. Yeah yeah, this sounds super cheesy, but it is true.

From a surface level standpoint, I discovered I am now capable of traveling to foreign countries every weekend and checking every item off my bucket list in two days.

Deeper than that, though, it outlined that I am capable of figuring things out for myself. There is such an ease to home. The second you don’t know how to do something, you just Google it. If that doesn’t work, you ask your mom.

We are instantly gratified with help at any given moment. It is easy to go on autopilot, just letting issues be solved for you. In Europe, that was not the case. Your mom isn’t there to help you when it’s 2:00 AM her time and you cannot understand the foreign taxi driver trying to ask your address, which you can’t figure out because you have no service in the middle of the Italian countryside. That, and you can’t pronounce it.

You have to figure it out! In these crazy instances of panic, you grow.

There’s no guidebook to real life. Google can’t answer everything (although, most things). The tool of figuring things out is essential for the rest of my life.

2. Studying abroad changed my life in a way that gave me a newfound confidence.

Sometimes, you just need to step away from the circles of home. It can be easy to get yourself in a stagnant rut. At home everyone already knows you. Nobody is amused by your personality. You don’t have to explain what excites you, shapes you, or what your passions are. Abroad, in the eyes of new people that are so different than you, you gain new light. You can see yourself from a new point of view. While people figure you out for the first time, you can reevaluate yourself for the first time again. Maybe it is cool that you like reading! Maybe it is cool that you paint for fun!

People also think it is really cool when you put yourself out there. Stripping yourself of the comforts of home leaves you vulnerable and open to people. Many people admire that. Watching people admire what you’re doing gives a confidence boost.

This newfound confidence changed my life in many ways. For one, this blog. I have been dreaming of writing a blog for years, but the worries of people’s judgment held me back. Now, I know vulnerability is admirable! Secondly, (as pathetic as this sounds) I see how my confidence has risen just in photos from this trip. I would have never taken a photo by myself before being here. Now, I don’t think twice.

Confidence can get you places. Living in the shadows of fear and self-doubt gets you nowhere. With this confidence, I can do so much more. No holding myself back!

3. Studying abroad changed my life in the way it made me a planner.

At home, I am more of a “we’ll figure it out” kind of person. While my carefree nature is forever stuck with me, now I realize the value of planning.

Planning gives ease to presence. It is a weird give-and-take. When you plan ahead, you are focusing on the future. Yet, once the future comes, it gives you the freedom to be much more present.

If you plan ahead, you know exactly what you are going to do. It takes away the stress of “figuring it out.” A schedule makes your days full, productive, and efficient, which makes me a happier person.

“Figuring it out” gives room for mistakes, wasting time, and the possibility of what you want to do not being available. Then your day is ruined.

Not to mention, you save so much money if you plan ahead. Prices rise when demand increases (these are just the basic rules of economics, people)! If only my “figuring it out” self knew this sooner. My future self is benefiting from me figuring this out!

4. Studying abroad changed my life by exposing my pressure to experience.

I always want to make sure I am getting the optimal experience out of life. That is why I often cannot commit to plans in advance, because what if a better option rises?

Moving to Italy and traveling every weekend seemed like the utmost optimal way to be experiencing life in my eyes, so I did it. It is funny, though, that as soon as I got here I quickly began to question myself.

In class, I would hear stories of people going out in Florence every weekend and I found myself asking, “Am I doing something wrong?”

I am not kidding. People go clubbing every night. It is crazier than my SEC college at home.

On Mondays, I would hear these entertaining drunk stories and seriously begin to question if my weekend shopping in London was not the best experience. What the hell was wrong with me?

I am so easily influenced by other people’s emotions. The fact that everyone seemed to be having so much fun makes me feel that I need to be having so much fun.

In reality, though, I know traveling makes me so much happier than going out. I always regret it the next day. I would take going to London 1000x over getting drunk at a bar. But that is not for everyone!

Just because my optimal experience is different than someone else’s does not mean it isn’t the best option for me. I have learned that I put this pressure to do the “best thing” all the time, while everyone’s “best thing” looks different.

If I spend all my life trying everyone else’s “best thing,” I will miss out on a life of my own. The best experience is the one that makes you happiest. This is essential moving forward. I don’t want to waste time trying to make everyone else’s “best thing” my “best thing.”

5. Studying abroad changed my life in the way I appreciate.

I came to Italy with the mindset that I would never want to leave. I was sure that America would be ruined for me in comparison to Europe after all my experiences here.

That is far from the case. Stepping away from my normal life made me appreciate it so much more.

Sometimes you don’t know how good you’ve got it until it’s gone. I hate that we are wired that way, but it is true.

I used to be bored with Kentucky. I saw no future for myself there. I was fed up with the small-town mentality. I was bored with the lack of momentum.

Being apart from home made me grateful for it in new ways. It gave me perspective.

I now appreciate America’s diverse food culture. I appreciate how progressive America is in standing up for social issues. I appreciate how our road system is organized. I appreciate how we have the same currency state to state. I appreciate how every store is within a 30-minute car ride. I appreciate how Americans ask “how are you?” at the check-out counter and wave hello to strangers that pass by.

I learned how amazing we have it here in America just by saying goodbye to it for a little while. Not only do I notice America’s distinct differences in being apart, but I notice how foreign people react to me being from America.

I forget that it is cool.

Italian teenagers long to visit America. In the same way, Americans dream of visiting Europe. People always want what they can’t have. You learn to appreciate it when you see it from longing eyes.

Having been home now for two weeks, I still don’t know how to respond when people ask “How was Europe?” There is so much I could say. To dismiss it with a simple “good” seems to do it an injustice.

Europe shaped me in ways I still am figuring out to this day. It changed my life. It plagued me with the travel bug and sent me home to view my pictures on repeat and plot my return.

It is the best decision I have ever made for myself. I would recommend it to anyone. I am a better person because of it. Seriously, let me change your life. Although, I should take no credit. Let Europe change your life.